Transforming Challenging Interactions: Driving Conversations Higher with Core Values

On our journey of leadership and team-building, we've all encountered moments when discussions seem to hit a dead end. Whether debating strategies, actions, or even goals, these conversations can sometimes spiral into endless arguments without resolution. However, I've discovered a powerful strategy that can transform these challenging interactions: driving conversations higher with core values.

Why Core Values Matter

Core values such as accountability, authenticity, courage, and harmony are fundamental principles that guide our behaviors and decisions. Unlike specific strategies or actions, core values are generally less contentious and more universally accepted within a team. When we shift our focus to these foundational elements, we create a common ground that fosters understanding and consensus.

The Power of Elevating Conversations

The next time you or your team reaches an impasse, consider elevating the conversation. For example, if you're discussing how to maintain authenticity within your organization, the conversation might stall on how to do so without causing hurt feelings. Authenticity can stir passion, sometimes leading to bluntness. When differing opinions sidetrack the discussion, take a moment to pause and refocus on the fundamental value of authenticity. This means steering the conversation back to its core principles.

Steps to Drive the Conversation Higher with Authenticity

1. Identify the Core Value: Recognize the core value at the heart of the discussion. In this case, it's authenticity.

2. Shift the Focus: Move the conversation from the specifics to the broader principle. Ask questions like, "Why is authenticity important to us?" or "What do we want our authenticity to achieve?"

3. Build Consensus: Encourage the team to agree on the significance of the core value. Most people will find common ground in the necessity of being genuine and transparent.

4. Energize and Cast Vision: Use the core value to inspire and re-energize the team. Emphasize how embracing authenticity can drive trust and harmony within the organization.

5. Move Back to the How: Once consensus is reached on the core value, transition back to the specifics. With a shared understanding of the importance of authenticity, debates on the how-to become more constructive and less contentious.

An Example in Action

Imagine your team is stuck debating the format of a weekly newsletter. The discussion is getting heated for some reason, and progress is stalled. Instead of pushing through, try this:

1. Pause and ask, "What is our core value here?"

2. Highlight the core value of communication: "We all agree that effective communication is vital for our success. It ensures everyone is informed and engaged."

3. Discuss why this value matters: "Effective communication builds trust and transparency. It helps us align our efforts and move towards our goals together."

4. Energize the team: "By prioritizing clear and consistent communication, we strengthen our team and improve our outcomes."

5. Return to the practical details: With a renewed focus on the importance of communication, you'll likely find it easier to agree on the format and frequency of the newsletter.
   

Try It This Week

I encourage you to try this approach in your next team meeting or conversation. When you encounter resistance or an impasse, drive the conversation higher by focusing on core values. You'll find that discussions become more collaborative, and solutions emerge more naturally.